-Just Trust-

During 1^st week- 

            Before coming to Tchad I was told of all of the things that I could possibly expect from my living situation, food, culture, and weather. Some of the things that I heard did make me wonder if I wanted to go at all. Coming to Tchad would mean me giving up almost all of my comforts of home. I was told that where I would live there would be no electricity, running water, and possibly not a real door to my hut. No electricity to me meant not being able to charge electronics, use flat iron or electric fan/air conditioner. The place that I would be placed into would more than likely be in a hut in the community, which could be in ok or good condition. Some people who have been to Tchad in past have had bugs, rodents, and other living things enter their hut. For those of you who don't know, I am not a fan of cockroaches at all. If I see one I usually scream and run the other way. So the thought of them being able to come into my place a lot made me hesitate for a second. I also worried about what I was going to do with my hair since I wouldn't be able to have a blow dryer (b/c would be bad for generator) and go to salon, but God kept on telling me to not worry about the small stuff. So often I weigh down my thoughts by worrying about this and that and everything that could go wrong.

 Before I came to Tchad there were small issues that I would run into, but all of them would work out. These situations kept on reassuring me everything would be ok and God does care about the small stuff. God knows what I can and cannot handle. God is able to make me stronger than I ever could be. God is able to make me no longer fearful of things and help me to just trust Him. Trust, that's what it all boils down to at the end of the day. How much do you trust His plan for your life? How much are you willing to allow Him to take control over? Will you be able to walk on water and not be afraid of the winds or waves, because you trust fully in Him? Trust has been the theme for me this year. I like to say that God is trying to beat it into me and learn this lesson finally. This year I kept on running into the answer to my problems was to trust Him. Pastor Dilys would ask “Do you trust Him?” or “Why don't you trust Him?” These questions were not just simple questions, but they made me think about my whole relationship with God. I claim to be a Christian that loves God, then I should be able to trust Him fully..isnt that how it goes? These questions were not easy ones to answer cause it made me reevaluate how I viewed God. They made me be totally honest with God and myself for the first time in my life. If God was leading me somewhere then I was to trust Him, not in my own powers or devices. Saying to God that you want to go where He leads may mean making many sacrifices, Abraham and Moses are examples of that occurring.     There are many bad things that happen in the US that also happen overseas, but it doesn't mean that He is less able to protect you. I also had to come to terms with the thought that God could allow things to happen to me overseas, but I would still have to trust Him. Saying you trust someone can sound simple to do, but there is so much more that goes into it when you mean it. Trusting God means to me that one is giving their life fully over to Him, allowing Him to lead each step, and laying down their doubts and fears. It is like saying “I will allow you to do whatever you want with my life.” In the past I have said it to Him, but this time it was a true declaration, because there were so many things that could happen and I had to not allow those fears to determine my level of faith. I also had to know that giving up temporary comforts would not kill me and people I meet in Tchad would be glad that I did. When I finally said that I would trust Him and that if it meant going to Tchad that I was willing to, that's when I felt peace that surpassed my understanding. Trusting is not always the easiest thing to do, but it is the best thing to do.

When I got to Bere I found out that they gave me a place to stay on the compound that has electricity, fan, and will eventually have running water. I feel extremely blessed because of all that things that I was provided. Since I thought of the worse case scenarios before I came it makes me more than grateful for all that I have been given. I also feel bad that I was worrying about such small things. Things have turned out better than all the negative thoughts that I had, yet this experience still requires trust. There are points when I ask why He brought me here, if I am ready for this task, or do I have to do a year? Trusting is not a one time deal, but a constant thing that has to happen through out the experience otherwise one can lose faith and sink into the sea. I am now ready to learn this lesson of trusting an all knowing and loving God with all of my heart.

 Please keep me in prayer as I continue on this journey of trusting God fully.