-Little things can cause BIG problems-

First Week Continued -Little things can cause BIG problems-

I am really overdue for informing you all about my time once I arrived in Bere. There are so many stories to tell and I wouldn't be able to tell them all to you. Instead I will give you highlights of what has happened thus far and the work that I am doing here. The first week comprised of getting things ready for the next week of meetings for the project. Just in case you don't know I am here in Tchad working on a program called Project 21. What it entails thus far are lecturing health topics to people that are staying at the hospital, training people in 21 quartiers, and dental extraction. The people who we are training are community health workers and traditional birth attendants. Marci was the one that came up with the program and oversaw it last year. Zach and I are the ones that have been asked to continue the program. The first week we did a lot of planning for the future and meeting with delegates of the communities. When we went to go visit the delegates I was able to ride a motorcycle for the first time. I was slightly scared at first, especially since there were three of us on the bike. After I got used to riding on it I felt more at peace. Riding on the bike felt like I was flying, which was quite liberating. There were moments when I became fearful because we were dodging a goat, horse and rope, or people in the small path. The experience also made me excited to learn how to drive one. The only thing is that I am not excited to get my first Tchadian tattoo. The tattoo is what some people called their scare from getting burned by muffler or falling off of a bike. I will have to be extra careful so that I will not leave here with that mark on me. J

The other excitement that occurred that week was my visit to the police station. We all had to go to the police station to get registered otherwise we could get in trouble if they knew we were there undocumented. I was quite worried about what would happen there since I didn't have my original passport with me, only a copy. Marci already informed me that I might have to pay them a little money so that there wouldn't be any issues. When it came to my documents the chief police was annoyed and kept asking why I didn't have my papers. It was explained that they were on their way back down from N’Djamena. He said to Jamie “I could get her arrested for not having her proper documents stamped and with her.” He wouldn't be allowed to do that to me, he was saying that probably to try to act like he has all power. We told him we would be back with it in a few days. He let us go without arresting me and we only had to give him $1,000 Francs which is equivalent to $2. I was praying before we got there that God would work out everything and He surely did. The rest of the week I was hoping that no police would stop me to ask for my documents. I got the passport to him the next week, so there were no more problems. It was annoying and embarrassing that my little passport caused so many issues. It’s amazing how one little decision can make problems for a long time. Despite the fact that it caused a lot of little issues He still took care of everything. The small things in life He still cares about J. 

-Just Trust-

During 1^st week- 

            Before coming to Tchad I was told of all of the things that I could possibly expect from my living situation, food, culture, and weather. Some of the things that I heard did make me wonder if I wanted to go at all. Coming to Tchad would mean me giving up almost all of my comforts of home. I was told that where I would live there would be no electricity, running water, and possibly not a real door to my hut. No electricity to me meant not being able to charge electronics, use flat iron or electric fan/air conditioner. The place that I would be placed into would more than likely be in a hut in the community, which could be in ok or good condition. Some people who have been to Tchad in past have had bugs, rodents, and other living things enter their hut. For those of you who don't know, I am not a fan of cockroaches at all. If I see one I usually scream and run the other way. So the thought of them being able to come into my place a lot made me hesitate for a second. I also worried about what I was going to do with my hair since I wouldn't be able to have a blow dryer (b/c would be bad for generator) and go to salon, but God kept on telling me to not worry about the small stuff. So often I weigh down my thoughts by worrying about this and that and everything that could go wrong.

 Before I came to Tchad there were small issues that I would run into, but all of them would work out. These situations kept on reassuring me everything would be ok and God does care about the small stuff. God knows what I can and cannot handle. God is able to make me stronger than I ever could be. God is able to make me no longer fearful of things and help me to just trust Him. Trust, that's what it all boils down to at the end of the day. How much do you trust His plan for your life? How much are you willing to allow Him to take control over? Will you be able to walk on water and not be afraid of the winds or waves, because you trust fully in Him? Trust has been the theme for me this year. I like to say that God is trying to beat it into me and learn this lesson finally. This year I kept on running into the answer to my problems was to trust Him. Pastor Dilys would ask “Do you trust Him?” or “Why don't you trust Him?” These questions were not just simple questions, but they made me think about my whole relationship with God. I claim to be a Christian that loves God, then I should be able to trust Him fully..isnt that how it goes? These questions were not easy ones to answer cause it made me reevaluate how I viewed God. They made me be totally honest with God and myself for the first time in my life. If God was leading me somewhere then I was to trust Him, not in my own powers or devices. Saying to God that you want to go where He leads may mean making many sacrifices, Abraham and Moses are examples of that occurring.     There are many bad things that happen in the US that also happen overseas, but it doesn't mean that He is less able to protect you. I also had to come to terms with the thought that God could allow things to happen to me overseas, but I would still have to trust Him. Saying you trust someone can sound simple to do, but there is so much more that goes into it when you mean it. Trusting God means to me that one is giving their life fully over to Him, allowing Him to lead each step, and laying down their doubts and fears. It is like saying “I will allow you to do whatever you want with my life.” In the past I have said it to Him, but this time it was a true declaration, because there were so many things that could happen and I had to not allow those fears to determine my level of faith. I also had to know that giving up temporary comforts would not kill me and people I meet in Tchad would be glad that I did. When I finally said that I would trust Him and that if it meant going to Tchad that I was willing to, that's when I felt peace that surpassed my understanding. Trusting is not always the easiest thing to do, but it is the best thing to do.

When I got to Bere I found out that they gave me a place to stay on the compound that has electricity, fan, and will eventually have running water. I feel extremely blessed because of all that things that I was provided. Since I thought of the worse case scenarios before I came it makes me more than grateful for all that I have been given. I also feel bad that I was worrying about such small things. Things have turned out better than all the negative thoughts that I had, yet this experience still requires trust. There are points when I ask why He brought me here, if I am ready for this task, or do I have to do a year? Trusting is not a one time deal, but a constant thing that has to happen through out the experience otherwise one can lose faith and sink into the sea. I am now ready to learn this lesson of trusting an all knowing and loving God with all of my heart.

 Please keep me in prayer as I continue on this journey of trusting God fully. 

-Ever Present Friend-

Today is October 19^th, which is a very special day to me. Not because it signifies that I have been in Tchad for a little over a month now. It is special to me because it means that it is my mothers birthday. In one month my mother and sister celebrate their birthdays. Being in another country when loved ones or close friends have birthdays doesn't make the distance easier. I wish that I could give her a gift, sing to her, and eat cake with her, but that's impossible. The month that I have been here has affected me the same way as when I first got to S. Korea, I felt alone at times. Family are very important to me, so being so far and not being able to call as I like or be able to see them hurts. When I fist got to Tchad I was fine with not being able to talk as much. I finally got a cellphone after being here for two weeks, which made it seem better. When it hit me that I miss the connection to family and friends is when everyone else here was able to talk to others. It hit on days when I just wanted to call someone to ask for advice or encouragement. Days when I just wanted to hang out with some of my friends. Days when I felt sick and wanted that good ol home cooking to make me feel better. The days when things don't go as planned is when it hits you, there is no one you can fb/skype/call right away. The internet is reallllly slow here, so that really cuts off how much I get to interact with the outside world. One of those days when I felt alone I finally did what I should have done before, I talked to God. I had it all backwards, cause I should have talked to Him way before.

            Let me go back into time real fast. In 2008 I went to South Korea to serve as a teacher for a year. I was in the big and booming city of Seoul, which has about 10 million people. Despite the fact that there were millions of people around, I still felt very much alone. Just like now, I was in a foreign land surrounded by people who I couldn't understand culturally and language wise. I didn't have my internet set up correctly for a little while and used calling cards to call home. I felt alone and wondered why God would want me there. Then I allowed God to be my comfort and friend. I eventually made more friends, understood the language and culture more. By the end of the year came I didn't want to leave yet. Now let’s come back to present time…

I am in the same position as I was a few years ago. There are less people around, but I don't understand the languages or culture. I will be here not teaching English for a year, but health. Before I came here I knew that it would start off rough and I would get lonely at times, since that's naturally going to occur. God had to remind me that He hadn’t left me. He has been with me every step of the way therefore He will be with me for the steps to come. He had to remind me as well that I came here for a reason. The reasons why I think I came here are to help the people health wise and lead them to Christ. That may not be why God brought me here, it may be more for me than them.

During those lonely days or nights I have to look to God. Those days when I feel friendless, I remember the greatest friend I have, God. Those times when I feel sick, I look to Him for comfort. Those days when I feel I am lacking everything, He reminds me of how special I am to Him. Being away from certain distractions (TV, internet, fb..) makes me stop and depend on Him. I don't have easy access to things, so I have to look to Him more and more. It should not take taking away all distractions to make one realize that the best way is to fully depend on Him, but sometimes that's what it takes.

I wrote all this so you know how I am doing also as encouragement to who may need it. When I feel homesick I remember that my best friend, comforter, and encourager is with me (God). Those times when you feel the same as I have just look to God. This will not be the easiest year for me, but knowing that He will be there with me makes the year not seem so much better. Family and friends know that distance may separate us, but God is taking good care of me. J Love and miss you all!

-       Take the time to express how much you care and appreciate people. Don't take for granted that you can easily reach over to them, go to their house, or call them whenever you want.

* Love you mother and Happy Birthday!! You have been such an encouragement to me through out my life. Even when I decide to go to countries far away, you have supported me every step of the way. I appreciate you for being you and the lovely mother that you continue to be. Thanks for putting up with me ;P. Thanks for your never ending love. 

-Night Cries-

-Night Cries-  10/15

Where I stay is on the Bere hospital compound. The housing compound is sectioned off from the hospital by a gate. The gate separates me from the hospital, but it doesn't separate me from what happens there. Some nights one may hear faint noises of people far off in the distance. The noises can be from people having a game, fun, or people whaling. Each noise means something distinctly different from the other whether it be joy or pain. On this particular night I went to the SM hut to use the restroom. From the SM hut you can see most of the hospital grounds. When I was leaving the hut I heard noises coming from the direction of urgent care. The noises did not sound like rejoicing but rather grief and mourning. I stood in place so that I could make out what was happening and if my ears were hearing correctly. What I saw was women walking out of the hospital gates in a line. Most of the women were carrying something on their head, which could have been anything from food to clothes. The line of 10-15 silhouettes went off into the darkness of the night. One of the local boys (Papa) came over to see what was happening as well. I asked him “where are they going to go now?” He said “they are going home.” His words were so simple, but yet so powerful to me. They were going home. The fight had been lost. Their friend/relative/stranger had died. They were on their way home without the person that was at the hospital. One of the women was going back home empty without their child/husband/relative/friend. The band of women whaling as they went down the street was a declaration to all that would hear that someone special had died and they would not hold in their grief. Death in Tchad is something that is familiar to a lot of people. Tchad is one of the poorest countries in the world, so with that poverty comes people not having long life expectancies. Many of the women have many kids and hope that at least a few will survive. Whaling in the streets to signify that someone has died is a new concept to me, but it isn’t for them. As I walked back to my hut in the moonlit night I could not ignore what just occurred. My heart felt heavy knowing that someone had just died a few minutes ago. I also felt saddened at the thought that there are so many people that die here so often. I don't know who died. I don't know the story of the persons life. I don't even know if it was a male or female, but I too felt the sting of death. Someone would no longer be able to walk this earth anymore because death took their life. Someone would not be able to express their love to that person anymore. Death seems so final. Death brings with it sorrow and pain. In the US we are hidden from death very often, but here it is very real and apart of life. If you make it to the next year or day then it's a blessing. What came to mind as I was walking was “O death, where is thy sting? O grave, where is thy victory?” 1 Corinthians 15:55. Death can have two sides of it. It can be a sorrowful time, yet a rejoicing time. It is a rejoicing time when we know who died, died knowing Christ. Knowing that the person will not have to be dead forever but will be resurrected when Jesus comes back. In heaven it will be the biggest reunion in history and there will be no more goodbyes after that. These thoughts comfort me at this time. When I hear people whaling in the future I will still feel sorrowful, but I will also have a different way of looking at the circumstance.

May God comfort the family of the individual that was lost. May they be able to see His love despite the death.

-Don't wait till its too late to tell someone you care- 

Day Four- What will not happen?

What will not happen?

   Bright and early the next day we got to the bus station by about 6 am. We sat, sat, and sat some more on bus and waited for it to get filled. An hour later the bus was filled with people and a whole lot of luggage was tied to the roof. We set out on the long journey by 7 am. Little did we know that this day would continue to show us how unpredictable life in Tchad would be for us.

   Setting out on our journey brought reality much closer to me. I was hours closer to where I would be for the next 12 months. God brought me to Tchad for a journey that He paved out for me and that bus ride down meant that there was no turning back now.

We traveled down with the windows open blowing the fresh air on us for relief from the hot bus. We could see for miles ahead the open two lane road that was perfectly made so that one could see the green open fields on both sides that had mud/brick compounds scattered along the way. The bus ride was said to take about 8 hours to Kaylo and then 45 mins to Bere…well as you may have guessed that's not how it turned out. The bus driver got stopped four times for check points by the police, which is more than usual. When the police saw us they took extra time on us, by asking questions about what we were doing or our proof of getting yellow fever vaccine, which does not usually happen. One of the stops Marci and I were questioned for why we didn't have our proof of yellow fever vaccinations with us. I prayed silently that things would work out. After much talk he let us go without even asking for money from us. The driver also stopped a few times for food or bathroom break.

    One of the stops that the driver made was in the middle of the road, so naturally we were wondering what happened. He went to check the battery in the bus and then a huge flame came out of nowhere. Now this made us a little scared. What if the bus blew up? What if we don't make it to Bere? What if we have to wait hours for another bus?? Questions, but no answers. Marci is the only one who can speak French, so she would have to ask all of the questions for us. Many men worked on it and tried to figure out what to do. Finally after over thirty minutes they got the bus working by using a flip flop (very creative). They started to load up the bus right after I decided that I should go use the bathroom. Now I must tell you that we did not stop near any actual restrooms, but rice fields. This meant that I had to hide in the bush and use the bathroom like everyone else did (thankfully we had tissue). Right when I started to use the bathroom the bus driver started to honk for us to come because it was fixed. This made it more embarrassing for me because I was peering over the tall weeds with fear in my eyes while hoping that this would not draw attention to me in the bushes. I hurried up and ran to the bus before it could leave me. By this time we had been on the road for less than five hours. We stopped at this bigger town for the regular pit stop in the trip, which turned into a hoottt hour wait. There were people staring at us Nasaras (term which means foreigners) in curiosity, others screaming the names of products that they are selling by our windows, and a few kids begging. The bus driver came back with a new battery, which comforted us to know that we would not have battery issues anymore. Back on the road we went.

A little while later the air went from warm to crisp and cold, we also noticed that we were driving right into huge dark clouds. The sky opened up and poured down on us for miles and miles. Finally we made it to the city of Kaylo, which is where we get off of the bus. It is approaching the end of rainy season, so the roads can still get really flooded in southern Chad, so we expected that we would not be able to get a car down there, but only motorcycles. We were pleasantly surprised when a driver said he could take us down to Bere. First they had to pack about everyone’s bags from the bus into the back of the truck. The pile grew higher and higher till I could not see out of the back of the window of the cab. While this was going on some people were reassembling the steering wheel and checking the battery and reassuring us that we would be leaving soon. Almost an hour later they said that we were ready to go. There was the driver, a man, lady and child in the front then four of us in the cab. There were 22 people in total in the bed of the truck and on the roof. The other two people who came with us had to sit on top of the roof of the truck. I have never rode in such a compacted vehicle that uses every inch of space for people to sit. I would have taken a picture of this but you have to have your camera registered in order to take pictures or you risk people getting mad or taking camera away. People had to hold on for dear life as we went over bumps, big holes that were full of water, and hope not to fall off into water while the truck struggled to get through. I was definitely praying every time it seemed as though we were going to get stuck. That was the longest 45 minutes that I have ever experienced (ended up being much longer). We eventually made it to our final destination, Bere, at sunset which is 6pm. So the 8-9 hour ride ended up taking us about 11 hours, boy were we happy to make it to Bere. We were greeted by the Parkers and feed a good meal, which made the ride worth it. This was only the beginning of a new life in a place that I now call home. That journey was much longer than I would have liked, but it assured me that God would take care of everything and life just doesn't go as planned. More unexpected things makes life more exciting….maybe not all of the time. J

   There are so many more things that have happened since then (motorcycle ride, police threatening to lock me up, mosquito attack, and naked Sabbath school). So stay tuned for more adventures that I am bound to have here.