Pride Before the Fall

     Yesterday was the day that I finally conquered my fears. Yesterday was the day that I didn't let my pride get into the way. It was such a simple thing, but it was a big deal for me. Yesterday was the day that I finally drove the motorcycle with ease, confidence, and no crashes. You see, about a month ago I was taught how to ride a motorcycle by a fellow missionary Bronwyn. She took the time to teach Zach and I since we didn't know already. I was using her motorcycle, which can only be started by a kick starter. To start it by kick start you need to put all of your weight on it and give it a lot of force. For you all who know me know that I am not the biggest or tallest person, but rather quite petite. I had two things that were working against me to get the moto working: 1. I am light in weight 2. I am short. It was much harder for me to even get it started after what felt like millions of tries. What made the situation worse was that there were about four workers there while I was practicing. They were siting on the side just watching all of the action for the most part. After trying to kick start about ten times my pride began to lower. Each time that I tried to start it and it failed I felt like my pride was being beat down to the ground. One side of me wanted to just give up and run away. The other side of me wanted to continue trying so that I could prove that I could ride the bike despite my size. Do I let my pride or confidence win? Do I just give up before I embarrass myself even more? I choose to keep on trying. I started to pray to God that I could get it started because I just wanted to learn to drive so that I could drive the Projects moto. Bronwyn kept on encouraging me and told me what happened when she first learned how to drive. Her story is what helped me to continue trying. I finally got it stared a few times and felt like a weight was lifted.

     I drove around the compound very slowly so that I wouldn't run into anything. Well my speed didn't prevent anything because one time I was heading towards the bed of flowers and tried to stop the bike, but I accidentally pushed the gas as well. I went flying into the short brick wall that encircled the flower bed. My pride couldn't take anymore embarrassment. Then Bronwyn preceded to tell me that one of the workers didn't know how to drive a moto and refuses to learn because of his fears. So often we do not try to do things because of things that stop us, or maybe that only happens to me. Those things could be fears, pride, family, lack of money, or ourselves. I got back onto the moto and kept on riding it and was able to get to second gear. That day I did not get as good as I would have liked, but I was happy that I got somewhere. Zach was able to get the hang of it right away, so he has been the main driver of the moto.

     I tried to ride the moto a couple weeks later, but it did not get very far. I accidentally ran into the rice bush when stopping. The front brake and gas are on the same handle, so when I squeeze one I accidentally move the other one too. I thought after that I may never be able to drive one. Was it my size or lack of skill? :(

     Yesterday morning I was talking to God about different things that I want to do. One of the things that I wanted to be able to do was learn how to ride a moto and overcome that obstacle. Right after the prayer I got the opportunity because Shannice needed help. I was able to start this time without stalling too many times. I was able to stop fine since I only used the back breaks. I did not run into anything or anyone. It felt so liberating to be able to ride the moto around with ease. My confidence rose up high and the things that were working against me before did not even matter anymore. There were some kids who stopped to watch me ride around in the front of the school. I was glad that there were no embarrassing moments happening this time due to the audience. Towards the end of my practice I tried to drive with Shannice on the back of the bike.This is a big deal since it changes the weight and balance of the bike. It was so hilarious because after I figured out how to balance it and ride off I started to scream in fear. This is because when we first started off the bike was wobbling to the left and right while gaining balance. After a few seconds I was able to ride straight without the fear of falling over into the sand. 

     I still need to practice some more before I go off into the open road, but I am still happy. I am happy to know that I CAN drive a motorcycle. When you finally face your fears head on no matter if you embarrass yourself it feels liberating. It feels even better when you overcome and do better than you ever thought. Yes I am short, skinny, and a woman, but those things will not hinder me from accomplishing things that others may think are not possible. What I learned from this experience is that you have to just face obstacles in your life, so that you can overcome them instead of holding you back. Also you cannot let your pride get in the way, but keep on trying till you get it. Lastly, God does care about the things that we think are small. He heard my prayer several times and gave me the ability to drive a motorcycle. No matter how small you think your prayer is He still hears. No matter how big your prayer may seem He is more than able to answer it as well. 

     What are some of the things that you need to overcome? What things have stopped you from reaching some of your goals and dreams? Why are you letting them stop you? Does your pride or confidence come in the way of learning or accomplishing something? If I can learn how to ride a motorcycle that is triple my weight and so high off of the ground that only my toes reach the ground than what is your excuse? Think of the things that you have been able to do in the past than go and face your fears with confidence and strength from God…

          ~Reach for your dreams even if it means falling down several times~